I don’t have to tell you that life is full of different pressures. The pressure to succeed, be perfect, have kids, get married… It goes on and on.
Don’t you just feel like giving up sometimes! I have to admit, I am constantly trying to better myself, be it in the business world or my personal life but at some point last year, the pressures had started to get to me!
The more you achieve, the more people start to expect from you! I always promised myself that I wouldn’t care what people think or expect but with the added pressure from social media that seems to always projects images of women with their definition of perfect bodies, generally living a lush lifestyle and with a man that looks like a cover model from GQ magazine. It becomes impossible not to try to strive for the ‘perfect’ life.
This is just my opinion but as an independent woman but I feel like in this day and age, we are expected to act a certain way: be polite and diplomatic but simultaneously aggressive and stand our ground in the business world.
It has reached the point that on top of everything, other people are now telling me that I have to act dumb when I go on dates! I was just getting used to the all the other personas I am meant to become! Yes, you heard that right! I simply said I haven’t been on any good dates lately and they replied make sure you don’t scare them away Stef because if they become aware of what you have achieved, they won’t think you need them?
So wait, I’m supposed to hustle every day and be the power woman that strives to achieve her dreams but hide it from the man that I’m potentially interested in because I’m meant to seem vulnerable, because “the man is meant to like man”.
With the constant contradictions that society seems to set for us, it has become increasingly hard to be yourself. I have to admit, when I first heard this, I was very upset, however, I began really thinking about it and came across this article that showed me that I’m not the only one out there that has questioned statements like these…
Jennifer Wright at TheGloss.com recently asked CNBC financial reporter John Carney: Why so many studies indicate that men prefer dating women who are less intelligent than they are. Carney chalked the phenomenon up to today’s “knowledge economy.” Less intelligent women have more leisure time because they aren’t financially rewarded for staying in school or working long hours, Carney reasoned, and they seek out a smart partner as a means of “economic advancement.” As Carney put it, “dumb chicks have both greater opportunities and greater incentives to try harder to date smart men than smart women do.”
Carney says a hardworking hedge funder who Wright interviewed provided a similar explanation, asserting that successful men (like him, presumably) date less successful women not because they want “women to be dumb” but rather because they want “someone who prioritizes their life in a way that’s compatible with how you prioritize yours.” The hedge funder, for example, dates a kindergarten teacher, and a kindergarten teacher “has a more flexible schedule, she’ll be able accommodate me,” he explains. Kindergarten teachers, we imagine, are unlikely to appreciate the implicit connection the hedge funder makes between their profession and an inferior degree of professional success.
I can personally admit that I have not cracked the code on this and I still refuse to act dumb but I also understand that wisdom is needed in different situations, so the whole point of getting to know someone better is that it is progressive and if he is in it for you are as a person, then that’s all that matters.
I also thought that I would shine some light on the situation in case others feel the same and open up the conversation on this topic so others can share their advice on the matter.